I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
