I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
