she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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