I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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