don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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