i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize