If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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