Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
