I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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