Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
