I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
