he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
