I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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