one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
