i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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