just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
