white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
