There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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