How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have feelings that need drinking.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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