i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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