In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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