it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
