hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
