We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
