let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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