Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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