Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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