YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize