we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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