Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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