so explain again why im purple
no
I met the friendliest cop last night
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
