I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
