he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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