Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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