Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
there is puke in my bra ... again
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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