You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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