my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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