Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
