We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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