he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
