i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
