i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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