Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize