I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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