bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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