Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize