On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
