Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
