I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
