you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
