my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
