I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think my tv is drunk
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
