So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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