Yo dont text me then not text me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
